Curveball

Every once in a while life can throw you a curveball and set you off balance. Hopefully we are able to move through the difficult times without losing ourselves.

 At 3 1/2 years sober I found myself dealing with depression in a way that it has never hit me before. I have a long history of depression which contributed to my drinking, but I have been through treatment and have remained sober. I am taking antidepressant medications, and my life is finally manageable. I have a job that I find exciting and challenging, a supportive family and most importantly my health.

 Then one day it all came crashing down. My depression and anxiety began to overwhelm me to the point where I could not be around other people and had to take a leave of absence from work, something I've never had to do before. While on leave of absence I had an accident which left me with a fractured pelvis, making it impossible to walk or run or do any of the activities I enjoy. I found myself at home alone, sleeping much of the day and unable to really interact with the world. I was lost in self pity and fear.

What I have learned so far, is that the work I am doing for my sobriety is sustaining me. I have truly been able to look at my life “one day at a time” knowing full well that all of this is temporary. I have known that the pain in my leg and hip will go away and that I will heal. I understand that my acute depressive episode is just that, “an episode” that will get better. I have sought out help from my physician, I have had counseling, I am doing physiotherapy to strengthen my body, and I am working on getting my life back to where I was.

My effort to “accept life on life's terms” has gotten me through this time without taking another drink, without becoming angry, and without berating myself. Sobriety is not something you achieve; it is a way of life. We will always face obstacles, challenges and heartache but we must use the tools we've learned so far to help us through the hard times. We have been through so much already and we can only continue to get stronger.