What the hell am I supposed to do on the down days? They come whether I like it or not. I am in recovery so I know enough to expect them, and I have things I can do to get myself out of the mood, sometimes. I can go for a run, do some shopping, meditate, watch my favorite shows. All good things. But what about the days when none of that is possible, the days I just can’t do it? The days when nothing works. I do not have a plan for that...I wouldn’t follow it anyways. These are days where I can’t sleep, can't sit still, can’t concentrate. I don’t want to eat, but I’m hungry. I have done my 10,000 steps just walking around the apartment. I am way beyond being inspired by quotes and happy recovery memes. I am angry and I don’t know why. I feel unreachable to myself. I have called in sick to work on these days, I just can’t do it. I don’t call my mom, I don’t text my kids, I probably don’t brush my teeth. 

But for two and a half years now, I also don’t drink on these days.