Robert and Maggie

I have worked as a cleaning lady in the same nursing home for 40 years. St Edward’s Convalescent Home was built in 1911. Originally known as St Edward’s Hospital. It was one of the most modern hospitals of the time. It has three floors with multiple four bed dormitories on each floor. There are large windows at the end of each hallway, and it is located in a beautiful park at the edge of town. The hospital was built for the tuberculosis and diphtheria epidemics originally, but after these epidemics subsided, it was converted to a nursing home. I have met many interesting people in my time working here. The story of Robert and Maggie stands out in my mind.

Dr Robert McCarthy was a family medicine practitioner and well-respected physician. He was a good-looking man, standing over six feet tall, with striking features and jet-black hair. He married his wife, Carol in 1962. Dr McCarthy was a man who believed his wife should not have a career. He felt her place was in the home, and he made more than enough money to support her. While Carol was left at home, Dr McCarthy spent much of his free time at his local tennis club. He frequently attended lavish dinners, parties and was popular in his social network.

Robert and Carol had two girls. Angela, born in 1966 and Bridget, her younger sister born three years later. Both girls loved their mother but did not like the way their father treated her. Neither girl was close to him growing up. Eventually, Angela married a salesman, much to her father’s chagrin, and had three boys with him. She moved to a different town and rarely saw her parents. Gina moved out of the home at a young age and rarely spoke to her father.

In the spring of 2011, at age 69, Carol died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Both girls came home for the funeral service, but it was obvious they were not welcome in their father’s life, nor did they want to be in it. Robert continued to live in the family home, alone.

By 2015 Robert was starting to show obvious signs of dementia. His appearance became more and more unkempt. His visits to the tennis club had all but stopped. Neighbors began to notice him wandering around outside at all hours. The home was disheveled, and Robert did not look well. The situation deteriorated until a concerned neighbor called the police to check on Robert. He was admitted to hospital with dehydration and confusion, where he was kept on a medicine ward. With no one to care for him, he was eventually admitted to St Edward’s Convalescent Home.

Margaret Blum was born in 1940. She was the only child of poor parents and never married. She worked as a nursing aide at a local hospital because she did not have the money to pay for nursing school. As a vibrant young woman, she enthusiastically participated in the women’s rights movement. She attended the women’s strike for peace in 1961 and was active in other protests and events.

Sadly, Maggie’s life took a tragic turn. In 1982, she suffered an injury at work and sustained permanent damage to her back. She was not able to work after that and was on disability for years. Her passion for social justice dwindled and she began to isolate from the world. Eventually, the payments ran out on her disability and without any money coming in and no one to help her, she lost her apartment. She began sleeping in homeless shelters and living on the street. Without medical care, the pain in her back became unbearable. She began to drink heavily to get some kind of relief. After many years of this, she developed Korsakoff’s dementia. Her increasing confusion and intoxication eventually resulted in her having a fall on the sidewalk and being taken to the emergency room. She was admitted to a medicine unit but was not able to be discharged because she had no place to go. She also ended up in St Edward’s Convalescent Home.

Maggie spent much of her time in the nursing home walking up and down the hallways with her walker. She was always curious about things she came across and quite often would collect small trinkets or belongings from other patient’s rooms. This had been a problem for the nurses, but she was harmless. 

Robert, on the other hand, did not walk around. He always sat by himself, in the same chair, staring out the window overlooking the grounds. He frequently was rude to the nurses and often yelled at other residents. He had no visitors since his admission, neither daughter came to see him, and neither one called. He had burned his bridges with his family.

One afternoon, when Robert was sitting in his chair by the window, Maggie wandered over to him in her usual fashion and took his teacup. Chaos ensued, with nurses running over to try and calm down both residents and return the teacup to its rightful owner. Robert’s yelling did not deter Maggie at all. She continued going over to him, sitting with him and taking his things. In her own way, she was trying to get his attention. Each time Robert would become angry, and the nurses would have to intervene. Eventually her persistence paid off. One afternoon Robert shocked the staff by standing up from his chair and beginning to follow Maggie down the hallway!

The next morning, before any of the other residents were up, the night staff noticed Maggie walking down the hallway without her walker, arm in arm with Robert. It was shocking to say the least. In the days and weeks that followed, it was a regular occurrence to see the two residents strolling arm in arm down the hallway, often stopping at the end of the hall to look out the window before they would turn around and walk again the in other direction. At mealtime Robert would help Maggie by opening her juice box and Maggie would share her food with Robert. They had become the unlikeliest of companions.

As I said in the beginning, I have worked in this nursing home for 40 years. I have met many interesting characters. Robert and Maggie are by far the most precious. The likelihood of a wealthy, arrogant, misogynistic man keeping company with a poor, homeless, fiercely independent woman was intangible. But it happened!

 I believe that when our cognitive abilities leave us, we are left only with emotion and instinct. Robert and Maggie, alone in the world, either by bad fortune or bad behavior, found comfort in each other’s company.

 They found comfort, and they found friendship.