Two Paths

This is a story about two girls, born on the same day in 1966, in the same town. They were both born to middle class couples and were both the oldest children. They lived in the same neighborhood and went to all the same schools. Their experiences however, could not have been more different and ironically, they never actually met each other until many years later.

Annie was a quiet child. She was shy and sensitive. Her family had moved around several times when she was young which made it difficult to make friends. She did not like going to school because she felt like an outsider, different from everyone else. At home she was also the odd one out, with two younger brothers, born within a year of each other, it was always her versus them in the home. She did not feel she fit in with the children in her neighborhood either. She felt as if she was always begging them to play with her.

As she grew older the feeling of not belonging grew. Annie had now discovered that breaking the rules gained her attention, from her peers and from the adults in her life. She began to skip school, sneak out of the house and soon began experimenting with substances. It started with cigarettes. She began smoking sometime in high school and began drinking at parties. Alcohol was the magic elixir. Her confidence level went from non-existent to over the top. She could talk to people and she actually began to have fun in groups. She felt good about herself.

Gwen was luckier and did not have the confidence issues that Annie had. She had made friends quickly in school and kept the same friend group right through to high school graduation.  She lived in the same big house for her entire childhood. Her parents both travelled for work so she often had the whole place to herself. This gave her freedom, which she took full advantage of. Her house was the party house, and because of that, everyone flocked to her. She was never short of people to be with. Gwen was always dating one boy or another, usually the most popular ones in the school. She was never alone.

After high school graduation Gwen attended the local university. She was finishing her science degree and had hopes of eventually becoming a doctor. She had applied to the faculty of medicine and was waiting to hear back. During this time she became engaged to her long-time boyfriend, who had just finished his engineering degree. They set a date for after graduation. She was ecstatic! She had always dreamed of a big wedding and that is exactly what she got. Her reception looked like a high school reunion.

Her husband soon landed a great paying job with a local engineering firm and they bought their first house in one of the richer neighborhoods in town.

Annie had graduated high school the same year and attended her first year at university, where she met her first real love. She was happy for a while but the relationship soon became mentally and verbally abusive. She had moved in with him and felt as if she had no choice but to tolerate the abuse. She hoped she could eventually make him happy. After nearly 2 years they broke up and Annie moved home.

Upon moving home, her old friend alcohol was there to pick up the pieces. She had quit university and had a job in a nursing home as a nursing assistant. She partied most nights of the week and was at a different bar every night. She often stayed out until dawn. When she did feel bad or embarrassed about something she had done, she would simply forget about it by going out again the following night. Miraculously, she was never in any serious trouble during this time, and somehow managed to get her nursing diploma.

Annie eventually met the man she would marry at a party. She was truly in love with him. This was different than she had ever felt. They were married within a year and had two beautiful children together. Sadly though, other than the times she was pregnant, Annie continued to drink, but now more secretively.

Gwen and her husband stayed in their first house about 5 years until they bought an even bigger house. They had two girls now who were attending private school, which left Gwen free during the day. She had turned down her acceptance to the faculty of medicine. She and her husband had decided that his income was more than enough to support the family very comfortably. While the girls were at daycare, Gwen spent her days shopping for them or for herself. She would go to lunch functions with friends from high school, and she sat on several local committees. She considered herself to be quite busy.

Annie was working nights as a nurse so she could look after the kids during the day, she slept while they were at school. It was a good arrangement. Her husband worked 12 hour days and wasn’t able to be home during the day. They had moved several times and now and after many years, had a beautiful home on a quiet street.

It all looked good from the outside, but there were major problems on the inside. Annie’s drinking had taken its toll on the marriage. She had actually stopped drinking now for about 5 years but the damage was already done. She and her husband were virtual strangers, they barely talked and did very little together. Annie could also see the toll this was taking on the kids. She was as unhappy as she could be.

Gwen’s girls continued at private school until graduation. After graduation, the older girl entered a one year chef’s apprentice program in Paris and the younger one had decided she would join her and travel around Europe while her sister worked. Gwen knew she would miss them both, but she knew it was an excellent opportunity for them to see the world. She secretly hoped that the absence of the girls would help her and her husband become close again. She was hoping they could travel together, like they did before the girls were born.

Annie moved out of the home on a cold day in November. She had been too unhappy for too long. She had imagined escaping and being on her own, but now it was happening for real and she was numb and scared. She settled in an apartment in the same area she had lived in in her 20’s. Both kids were attending university across the country, and while it was heart-wrenching to see them go, she was proud of what they were doing. After an adjustment period she actually had felt pretty good.

She felt good until the drinking started again. For some unknown reason, she picked up a drink and fell further into hell than she had ever been. It was a process that took about a year but eventually she was too sick to keep drinking and too sick to quit. She had tried to fool everyone but failed miserably. She felt pathetic and unworthy of love. Out of desperation, she reached out to a local addictions clinic.  After several failures, the clinic sent her to a 90 day treatment facility, which changed her life. Between that and the loving support from her children, she was able to quit drinking, and face some of the pain that led her to such a dark place.

Gwen’s hopes of reconnecting with her husband had come true to some extent. They were going on dates again, he would take her to expensive restaurants and often buy her jewelry. He made sure she had weekly spa days and even got her the new Lexus she had her eye on. Still, she didn’t see him as much as she would have liked to. He was at his office late many evenings and needed to attend conferences out of town frequently, often at the last minute.

She had not heard much from the girls recently either. The older daughter had received an offer to stay in Paris on a work visa and her younger daughter had just gotten engaged and eloped. She was now living in Saint Malo with her new man and her new baby.

Annie had been getting ready for the holidays for a few weeks. She hated Christmas shopping and found the whole thing stressful. She laughed at herself while wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve day. She thought she had always done such a bad job of it because she was drunk, it turns out she was just really bad at wrapping things! She had been sober now for just over a year. It wasn’t an easy year, but probably the best one she could remember. She had to work at the hospital tonight so the kids were coming over on Boxing Day for Chinese food and presents, not exactly traditional, but she was really excited about it. She even had a tree and lights up. Life was looking pretty good.

Gwen had a house full of people as usual, for their annual Christmas Eve party. The guests were mostly people from her husband’s work. She had invited some of her friends from high school but they were all spending time with family and couldn’t make it. Neither of her girls had been able to make it home again this year. Gwen understood that it was too far to travel and they had their own lives to lead.

Gwen mingled with the guests, made small talk and laughed at jokes that weren’t funny. She hadn’t seen her husband in some time when she noticed him in the kitchen chatting with yet another intern. In the male dominated field of engineering, she was acutely aware of how many young women were employed by her husband. She told herself she was imagining things, as she had done for years.

The guests started to leave shortly after midnight. Gwen poured herself a vodka, grabbed the bottle and went upstairs for a bath. She sat in the tub for what seemed like hours. She drank half of the vodka bottle and took most of the pills from the medicine cabinet.

Annie heard the call on the EMS radio. They were 5 minutes out with an unconscious female, mixed overdose. She dreaded this kind of thing at Christmas, but it was part of the holiday season in the ER. Paramedics burst into the resuscitation room and quickly transferred the patient to the stretcher. The woman had taken an unknown quantity of antidepressant and cardiac medication, combined with excessive alcohol. They worked on her for a long time but were not able to get a pulse back. Time of death 0315.                                                             

 Annie had met Gwen.