Fishbowl

It is 11pm and I am awake in my apartment. I live on the 16th floor in a building close to downtown. I overlook a residential neighborhood and quite a few other apartment buildings. It is dark out and I have all my lights on. I have some fairly big windows and the blinds are up.

I remember when I first moved here I would shut all the blinds when it was dark out, so people could not see in or I would turn the lights off in a room before going near the window so people could not see me standing there. I would always assume that there were eyes out there somewhere, watching.

From walking around the neighborhood, during the day and in the evening, I have realized that when looking up at my building, there is not much to see. It is just yellow lights, too far away to make anything out. From the view outside I am just one of hundreds of windows, each one most likely has a person behind it. Each person is leading their own life, each life is full of the challenges of day to day existence, happy moments, sad moments and the mundane. We are part of a massive group of windows, all with people behind them, just living their lives.

So I leave the blinds open. I can watch the sky, the sunset, the stars and the airplanes landing across town. This is my window, my view, and I will enjoy it. I will not worry about an imagined set of eyes watching me.

I will also live my life without worrying about eyes watching me. I will make choices based on my experiences and what is good for me. I will not worry about what other people might think they see, because in the end, I only have to answer to myself.